I hate your face
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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