Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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