I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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