no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
