What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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