my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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