Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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