Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize