is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize