I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
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