Non-Jews are for practice
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
