dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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