You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
