were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
