It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize