I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
