i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
