Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
