I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
