I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
