belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They took my balls.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
