Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is it penis luge time yet?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
