these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
