He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
