I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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