Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
