Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
