turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
