Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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