someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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