If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
