Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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