I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My pussy is not your playground.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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