I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
