Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize