Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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