Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just googled if crying burns calories
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
