if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We are two peas in an std pod
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize