he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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