Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
