You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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