Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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