How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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