Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
