singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
