Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize