Yo dont text me then not text me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We just shotgunned beers for America
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
