You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
