I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
