listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
there is glitter all over my balls
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