So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
