I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize