but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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