All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
As shirtless as possible
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
