Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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