we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
