someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just threw up on my dentist
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
