Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
