I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
