im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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