Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
